Pokemon Go: A Trainer's Regrets by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Pokemon Go: A Trainer's Regrets
All I wanted was to catch them all.
It started out so innocently. You grow up in a Pokemon world, wanting nothing more than to be a Pokemon trainer. So when the professor offers you a chance to start your own Pokemon journey, to catch them all, of course you accept, who wouldn’t?
Yeah, it was all just Pidgeys and Rattatas at first. The Professor wanted them, so I sent them over; I kept getting stronger Pokemon, and the Professor was getting Pokemon for his research. I didn’t care for what - track their migration patterns, train them, test cosmetics on them, I dunno, it wasn’t any of my business. All that mattered to me was
Doctor Who Christmas Carol: Twelve Regenerations by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Doctor Who Christmas Carol: Twelve Regenerations
On the twelfth regeneration, the Doctor gave to me:
Twelve angry eyebrows
Eleven Jammie Dodgers
Ten loud “Allons-y”s
Nine Daleks dying
Eight draughts a-drinking
Seven cool umbrellas
Six clashing colors
Five celery!
Four jelly babes
Three fight scenes
Two recorder songs
And a trip in a time machine.
Pokemon: Anything Ash Can Do, Misty Can Do Better by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Pokemon: Anything Ash Can Do, Misty Can Do Better
M: Let’s face it, Ash… anything you can do, I can do better.
A: What!?
M: I can do anything better than you.
A: No you can’t.
M: Yes I can.
A: No you can’t!
M: Yes I can, watch me, Ash!
A: Anything you can train, I can make greater.
And not much later, my team’s greater than yours.
M: No it’s not.
A: Yes it is.
M: No it’s not.
A: Yes it is.
M: No it’s not!
A: Yes it is, yes it is
A: I can beat a Slaking,
Without even blinking.
M: I can beat an Aggron,
Any time just for fun.
A: I can win at any gym!
M: But are you the champ?
A: No…
M: Nice try, you scamp.
A: Any move you can use, I can u
Da Boss (A Pokemon/Disney song parody) by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Da Boss (A Pokemon/Disney song parody)
Gosh it excites me to speak with da boss,
After our mission went down.
All of our knees get all weak near da boss,
Just from a stare and a frown.
There’s none in Team Rocket respected as him,
Throughout Viridian City.
We don’t even care we’re neglected by him,
And the reason is quite clear to see…
No one’s tough as da boss,
Has that stuff like da boss,
No one looks quite as good in the buff like da boss.
For there’s no one in Rocket as manly,
Full of ambition and brawn.
You can ask Archer, Domino, or Cass’dy,
And they’ll tell you what Team they are proud to be on!
No one shouts like da boss!
C
Magikarp - A Pokemon Song Parody by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Magikarp - A Pokemon Song Parody
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magikarp!
(Karp!)
Caught myself a Magikarp
Tell you why:
Because Gyarados is super fly.
And if he can pull off a Dragon Dance
Team Rocket won’t stand a chance
Against my
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magikarp!
(Karp!)
Swifter than speedsters in the rain
Attacks with Splash, Tackle, or Flail
Leveling him up may seem like a pain
But Magikarp - won’t fail!
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magi
Hooked on Your Healing (A Pokemon Song Parody) by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Hooked on Your Healing (A Pokemon Song Parody)
[Sung to the tune of "Hooked on a Feeling"]
(Ludi-Ludi-Ludicolo
Ludi-Ludi-Ludicolo
Ludi-Ludi-Ludicolo
Ludi-Ludi-Ludicolo)
My team needs some healing,
Please help fix them up.
Joy, I need a bit of of
Your sweet healing touch.
When you put them,
On that cure machine,
I know you are
The best nurse for me,
I-I-I
I'm hooked on your healing!
My Pokemon are reeling
Oh won't you help my team?
Lips sweet as Rare Candy
You level up my heart.
Love is a gym battle
I'm ready to start.
I'll give my badge to you girl,
For when our match is through
We’ll find the Poke Center
And get help from you.
You make me feel
Like I've got Pokerus.
Oh come
Fanime Room Reservations Journal by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Fanime Room Reservations Journal
February 10th, 2014.
11:01 AM
Booking is hell.
If you are reading this, then maybe I have managed to survive. Or maybe you’re just reading the last words of a dead man. A dead man who couldn’t book a room for Fanime.
It all started innocently enough. People were waiting for the rooms to go live, as they do every year. But each year, it grew harder and harder to get in on time, and it seemed we’d lose a few good men each time around.
Then, not even weeks before, the news struck: only registered guests could book a room. A quiet panic spread, and those who were waiting to register rushed to the site, lest they lose their
Carry on, my Pokemon
There'll be peace when Rocket's gone.
Restore your HP with Rest
You can fight some more.
Once I cured away the Burn and Confusion,
My attack broke through Zorua's Illusion.
I thought my moves would hit first
But Crobat used fly.
Though my team could win I still was in trouble,
Though I was one those two had made it double.
I hear their motto, they keep screaming,
'Till they make me say:
Carry on, my Pokemon
There'll be peace when Rocket's gone.
Restore your HP with Rest
You can fight some more.
Opposing them as a man with Jigglypuff
Its Facade is a move that hits them tough.
And if I have to use a potion, well,
It sur
I'll Make a Rocket Grunt Out of You by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
I'll Make a Rocket Grunt Out of You
Let's get down to business
To defeat the twerp!
Why would you use Zubat?
You know that won't work.
You're the lamest grunts I'll ever see,
But soon as we
Are done with you
You'll be a
Rocket Grunt
Through and through.
Tranquil as Meditite,
Burning like Moltres.
Once you find their weakness,
Their moves will hurt less.
You're a brainless, weak, crossdressing lot,
And you're all without merit.
Somehow you'll
Work here in
Team Rocket!
"I'm never gonna catch that rat."
"Pikachu electrocute me…"
"Maybe I should train at Pewter City Gym."
"I just want to get Crobat."
"One more day like this? Just shoot me."
"How was I to kno
Disney/Star Wars: Lord Jabba by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Disney/Star Wars: Lord Jabba
Hey! Clear the way to the sail barge
Hey you!
Let him through,
Cuz he's living large.
Oh come,
Be the first to bow down before him.
Make way!
Here he comes!
Get Reebo's band on the drums,
Oh you're gonna fear this guy!
Lord Jabba! This here fella,
Is a Hutt gangster.
Your best bet, is to respect
His majesty.
Now try to not cross his path,
Or you will feel his wrath
And be frozen on the wall for all to see!
Lord Jabba, one hell of a
Mighty Hutt gangster!
Bow your head,
Or you'll be dead,
As Rancor feed.
He sent hunters for Solo,
Who had nowhere left to go,
Could he escape us? No!
Jabba caught him!
He's got seventy-fiv
Pokemon Go: A Trainer's Regrets by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Pokemon Go: A Trainer's Regrets
All I wanted was to catch them all.
It started out so innocently. You grow up in a Pokemon world, wanting nothing more than to be a Pokemon trainer. So when the professor offers you a chance to start your own Pokemon journey, to catch them all, of course you accept, who wouldn’t?
Yeah, it was all just Pidgeys and Rattatas at first. The Professor wanted them, so I sent them over; I kept getting stronger Pokemon, and the Professor was getting Pokemon for his research. I didn’t care for what - track their migration patterns, train them, test cosmetics on them, I dunno, it wasn’t any of my business. All that mattered to me was
Doctor Who Christmas Carol: Twelve Regenerations by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Doctor Who Christmas Carol: Twelve Regenerations
On the twelfth regeneration, the Doctor gave to me:
Twelve angry eyebrows
Eleven Jammie Dodgers
Ten loud “Allons-y”s
Nine Daleks dying
Eight draughts a-drinking
Seven cool umbrellas
Six clashing colors
Five celery!
Four jelly babes
Three fight scenes
Two recorder songs
And a trip in a time machine.
Pokemon: Anything Ash Can Do, Misty Can Do Better by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Pokemon: Anything Ash Can Do, Misty Can Do Better
M: Let’s face it, Ash… anything you can do, I can do better.
A: What!?
M: I can do anything better than you.
A: No you can’t.
M: Yes I can.
A: No you can’t!
M: Yes I can, watch me, Ash!
A: Anything you can train, I can make greater.
And not much later, my team’s greater than yours.
M: No it’s not.
A: Yes it is.
M: No it’s not.
A: Yes it is.
M: No it’s not!
A: Yes it is, yes it is
A: I can beat a Slaking,
Without even blinking.
M: I can beat an Aggron,
Any time just for fun.
A: I can win at any gym!
M: But are you the champ?
A: No…
M: Nice try, you scamp.
A: Any move you can use, I can u
Da Boss (A Pokemon/Disney song parody) by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Da Boss (A Pokemon/Disney song parody)
Gosh it excites me to speak with da boss,
After our mission went down.
All of our knees get all weak near da boss,
Just from a stare and a frown.
There’s none in Team Rocket respected as him,
Throughout Viridian City.
We don’t even care we’re neglected by him,
And the reason is quite clear to see…
No one’s tough as da boss,
Has that stuff like da boss,
No one looks quite as good in the buff like da boss.
For there’s no one in Rocket as manly,
Full of ambition and brawn.
You can ask Archer, Domino, or Cass’dy,
And they’ll tell you what Team they are proud to be on!
No one shouts like da boss!
C
Magikarp - A Pokemon Song Parody by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Magikarp - A Pokemon Song Parody
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magikarp!
(Karp!)
Caught myself a Magikarp
Tell you why:
Because Gyarados is super fly.
And if he can pull off a Dragon Dance
Team Rocket won’t stand a chance
Against my
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magikarp!
(Karp!)
Swifter than speedsters in the rain
Attacks with Splash, Tackle, or Flail
Leveling him up may seem like a pain
But Magikarp - won’t fail!
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magikarp, Magikarp
Oh, Magi Magi Magi
Magi
Hooked on Your Healing (A Pokemon Song Parody) by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Hooked on Your Healing (A Pokemon Song Parody)
[Sung to the tune of "Hooked on a Feeling"]
(Ludi-Ludi-Ludicolo
Ludi-Ludi-Ludicolo
Ludi-Ludi-Ludicolo
Ludi-Ludi-Ludicolo)
My team needs some healing,
Please help fix them up.
Joy, I need a bit of of
Your sweet healing touch.
When you put them,
On that cure machine,
I know you are
The best nurse for me,
I-I-I
I'm hooked on your healing!
My Pokemon are reeling
Oh won't you help my team?
Lips sweet as Rare Candy
You level up my heart.
Love is a gym battle
I'm ready to start.
I'll give my badge to you girl,
For when our match is through
We’ll find the Poke Center
And get help from you.
You make me feel
Like I've got Pokerus.
Oh come
Fanime Room Reservations Journal by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Fanime Room Reservations Journal
February 10th, 2014.
11:01 AM
Booking is hell.
If you are reading this, then maybe I have managed to survive. Or maybe you’re just reading the last words of a dead man. A dead man who couldn’t book a room for Fanime.
It all started innocently enough. People were waiting for the rooms to go live, as they do every year. But each year, it grew harder and harder to get in on time, and it seemed we’d lose a few good men each time around.
Then, not even weeks before, the news struck: only registered guests could book a room. A quiet panic spread, and those who were waiting to register rushed to the site, lest they lose their
Carry on, my Pokemon
There'll be peace when Rocket's gone.
Restore your HP with Rest
You can fight some more.
Once I cured away the Burn and Confusion,
My attack broke through Zorua's Illusion.
I thought my moves would hit first
But Crobat used fly.
Though my team could win I still was in trouble,
Though I was one those two had made it double.
I hear their motto, they keep screaming,
'Till they make me say:
Carry on, my Pokemon
There'll be peace when Rocket's gone.
Restore your HP with Rest
You can fight some more.
Opposing them as a man with Jigglypuff
Its Facade is a move that hits them tough.
And if I have to use a potion, well,
It sur
I'll Make a Rocket Grunt Out of You by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
I'll Make a Rocket Grunt Out of You
Let's get down to business
To defeat the twerp!
Why would you use Zubat?
You know that won't work.
You're the lamest grunts I'll ever see,
But soon as we
Are done with you
You'll be a
Rocket Grunt
Through and through.
Tranquil as Meditite,
Burning like Moltres.
Once you find their weakness,
Their moves will hurt less.
You're a brainless, weak, crossdressing lot,
And you're all without merit.
Somehow you'll
Work here in
Team Rocket!
"I'm never gonna catch that rat."
"Pikachu electrocute me…"
"Maybe I should train at Pewter City Gym."
"I just want to get Crobat."
"One more day like this? Just shoot me."
"How was I to kno
Disney/Star Wars: Lord Jabba by Eliteslayer, literature
Literature
Disney/Star Wars: Lord Jabba
Hey! Clear the way to the sail barge
Hey you!
Let him through,
Cuz he's living large.
Oh come,
Be the first to bow down before him.
Make way!
Here he comes!
Get Reebo's band on the drums,
Oh you're gonna fear this guy!
Lord Jabba! This here fella,
Is a Hutt gangster.
Your best bet, is to respect
His majesty.
Now try to not cross his path,
Or you will feel his wrath
And be frozen on the wall for all to see!
Lord Jabba, one hell of a
Mighty Hutt gangster!
Bow your head,
Or you'll be dead,
As Rancor feed.
He sent hunters for Solo,
Who had nowhere left to go,
Could he escape us? No!
Jabba caught him!
He's got seventy-fiv
So yeah. After SDCC I realized it would be a lot easier to keep track of all the people I meet by having a cosplay page to direct them to. As such, I decided to make one. It's not about fame or popularity, but keeping connected with the people I meet and having my cosplay stuff on a single page.
So, if you want to check it out, here's the link: https://www.facebook.com/ryogarocket I decided to go with Ryoga Rocket because, well, alliteration mostly, and it uses two of my favorite cosplays without being too connected to either. I'm still just giving it a test run to see if it's worth using, but enjoy.
So yeah, Fanime is approaching, and it shall be awesome! Yet I once again find myself with a multitude of costumes to bring. Why must I always want to be a part of everything I can?
Anyways, let's take a quick look at my cosplay plans, shall we?
Thursday (Day 0) I'll be there in an incomplete version of Legend of Korra's Pro Bending Announcer's outfit. I still need to make a few things for it, but it'll suffice for the time being.
Friday (Day 1) I'll start the day as Relius Clover from BlazBlue. Mostly for hanging out with friends, and for the Cosplay Battles at 3:30. Around 6 I'll switch into the Tenth Doctor from Doctor Who.
Saturday (D
I think I spelled that right, at least. At any rate, I've noticed that I'm nearing 5000 page views, so I figured I might as well do this kiriban thing. So here's how it works: If you're the 5000th page viewer, get a screenshot of that and show it to me. If you're the lucky winner, I'll write a short story about a topic of your choosing... to a degree of good taste. Good luck!
And of course, I was recently at Fanime. My reports are being posted on California Conventions Blog, so hopefully I'll have them all up by the end of the weekend.
I'll also be at Sac Con this Sunday, for a little while. It's mostly just to meet Billy West, but I look f